Funny jokes compilation part 1
This post includes some of the jokes that I have compiled from many data bases on various topics. As the famous quote says:
If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism;
If you steal from two or three authors, it’s
literary discernment;
If you steal from many, it’s masterful
research.
If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism;
If you steal from two or three authors, it’s
literary discernment;
If you steal from many, it’s masterful
research.
1. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
2. Why was the little strawberry crying?
His mom was in a jam
His mom was in a jam
3. What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
Jalapeño business.
4. Why are frogs are so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
They eat whatever bugs them.
5. How do you befriend a squirrel?
Just act like a nut.
Just act like a nut.
6. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?
No? Really? It’s making headlines!
No? Really? It’s making headlines!
7. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
It was craving a well-balanced meal.
It was craving a well-balanced meal.
8. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
Lookin’ a little pail there.
Lookin’ a little pail there.
9. Why do chicken coups always have two doors?
With four, they’d be chicken sedans.
With four, they’d be chicken sedans.
10. What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
11. Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
They kept dropping their trunks.
12. What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse.
A little hoarse.
13. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry?
Throw a coconut at their face.
Throw a coconut at their face.
14. What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool?
Bob.
Bob.
15. What do cows most like to read?
Cattle-logs.
Cattle-logs.
16. How does a duck buy lipstick?
She just puts it on her bill.
She just puts it on her bill.
17.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Roberto.
18. What did the cop say to his stomach?
Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!
Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!
19. What do you call a snowman on a hot day?
Puddle.
Puddle.
20. What do you do with a sick boat?
Take is to the doc already.
Take is to the doc already.
21. What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?
Oh, snap!
Oh, snap!
22. What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man.
Park your car, man.
23. What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish?
Well this tastes a little funny.
Well this tastes a little funny.
24. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
Make a seizure salad.
Make a seizure salad.
25. What did the older chimney say to the younger one?
But you’re way too young to smoke!
But you’re way too young to smoke!
26. Who do call when the ocean needs a little cleaning?
A mermaid, of course.
A mermaid, of course.
27. What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
Frisbee.
Frisbee.
28. Which plant rules the garden?
The dande-lion.
The dande-lion.
29. Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?
He had no body to go with him.
He had no body to go with him.
30. What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop?
Shoe!
Shoe!
31. Why was the poor guy selling yeast?
To raise some dough.
To raise some dough.
32. What’s a firefly’s favorite game?
Hide-and-glow-seek.
Hide-and-glow-seek.
33. Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?
His mummy, of course.
His mummy, of course.
34. What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
A chilly dog.
A chilly dog.
35. Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed.
Because the sea weed.
36. How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer.
A buccaneer.
37. Did you hear about that wedding?
It was in-tents.
It was in-tents.
38. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He could feel his presents.
He could feel his presents.
39. What do baby kangaroos wear when it’s cold out?
Jumpsuits.
Jumpsuits.
40. What kind of music to chiropractors listen to?
Mostly hip-pop.
Mostly hip-pop.
41. What’s the most famous creature in the ocean?
The starfish.
The starfish.
42. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.
Do not read it!
Do not read it!
43. What do ants get when they do all their chores?
An allow-ants.
An allow-ants.
44. Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies?
They just don’t have the guts.
They just don’t have the guts.
45. What did one egg say to the other?
Eggs-cuse me, please.
Eggs-cuse me, please.
46. What’s so bad about Russian dolls?
They’re all so full of themselves.
They’re all so full of themselves.
47. Why doesn’t anyone want to shave a crazy sheep?
Cause it’s a baaaaaaaaaad idea.
Cause it’s a baaaaaaaaaad idea.
48. What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunderpants.
Thunderpants.
49. What does a farmer say after feeding a stick of dynamite to his steer?
Abominable! [A-bomb-in-a-bull}
Abominable! [A-bomb-in-a-bull}
50. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
Because he was a little shellfish
Because he was a little shellfish
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